- It’s impossible to order food in a restaurant after 8.30pm in the provinces and, if you order dishes out of sequence, the waitress will implode.
- You can wear a tutu in the street in the city and nobody looks twice, in the provinces you’ll be heckled until you put joggers on instead.
- In the provinces, you can never be sure that the new person you meet isn’t already someone’s aunt, uncle, ex or milkman.
- Drivers in the city understand the meaning of being beeped at with a horn, in the provinces they’ll cry for hours in a lay-by.
- Much more tea is drunk in the provinces, and coffee machines are looked at with only looks of confusion.
- Some of the best hand-made sushi can be found in the city; in the provinces you can only order a fancy prawn cocktail, at a push.
- In the city, JLo could be on the tube next to you and you wouldn’t blink. In the provinces, you would take a selfie with her, twice.
- People in the provinces would seldom go to something new on their own, and must arrive in a posse.
- In the city, tapas is tapas. In the provinces, it means 3 plates of sausage rolls and some cheese and pineapple on sticks.
- In the provinces, households have Jack Russells as pets. In the city, they have Portugeuse Water Dogs, looked after by the Nanny.
- In the city, people sup exotic botanical cocktails. In the provinces, people walk up the bar and say ‘usual’.
- Cyclists abound in the city and it’s a daily commuting choice. In the provinces, this only happens on warm, sunny days.
- There are many charity shops in the provinces, have you ever seen one in the city? Same applies to Gregg’s.
- Carrots, potatoes and cabbage are popular in the provinces; they’ve never heard of okra, fennel and choi sum.
- In the provinces, you might say hello to a stranger. In the city, you will simply grip your purse tighter.
Have you got some more examples?