1. China sometimes smells like my Nana’s old cupboards
  2. The motorways are like the wacky races.
  3. Premium class on a plane means you get a face towel.
  4. Escort is a new Ford model in China.
  5. Chinese couples can be quite clingy and often wear matching clothes.
  6. If you want to shame an overcharging taxi driver, make him pull up directly outside the hotel.
  7. Some dining halls are like wedding receptions.
  8. I thought I was a minority unless I caught an internal flight in China.
  9. Any internal flight ends with a quick stretching class, led by the stewards, and even includes an ear stretch.
  10. Nobody bats an eyelid if you drink yoghurt directly from the pot.
  11. Drinking hot coffee with a straw is kinda cool.
  12. Airline food is akin to cat food.
  13. I’m not sure how crisps manage to taste wet, but they do.
  14. Signing a credit card slip with a pencil doesn’t seem the most sensible thing to do.
  15. Seat covers often cover the seatbelt, putting you at additional risk.
  16. You may keep the tag on your new underwear for many days because you can’t ask for scissors successfully in reception.
  17. Don’t mention Hong Kong when in China.
  18. Don’t mention China when in Hong Kong.

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