When I woke this morning, I felt heavily disorientated for the first few moments. Yes, I’m in a tent, and I’ve just reached out and plunged my hand into a bed of sand. Surreal.

Breakfast was the most delicious (watery) porridge. And that cake bread again. I am feeling bloated quite a lot of the time now. And I doubt bread gives anyone energy, yet I still eat it.

I donned my superman T-shirt to entertain the crowd and, once the irony had settled, we set out for the trek, first full day. Oh, I also wore my straw hat today, so I looked a complete twat.

As I write this journal in the evening (on the floor), I am reading out excerpts to the crowd, and entertaining them fully. Lots of people are writing journals on this trip, mostly about me and my jokes I should think.

So, we walked, and walked, and walked. And played the A-Z. I also chatted to Tracey, Dick from 11-12 that day.

We semi-sunbathed at lunchtime, but we have been banned from appearing topless, even the ladies. Lunch was mostly yum, but the pasta and bread again took their toll. We have less meat served up as the week goes on, too.

We were allowed to sit for an hour, this was a long lazy lunch, but to be honest it’s the heat of the day, and we might’ve died if we set off in it. Soon, we were raring to go, as were the camels, whom made noises odder than me.

The afternoon went quickly with plenty of mobile networking, as we discovered that lettuces can talk to each other. There’s some sort of ironic joke in there I’m sure. We seemed to arrive at camp prematurely, and felt we could walk further. Nutters. Audrey arrived on camel back, her toe is raw to the bone, we loved looking at it though.

Sitting with a sugary mint tea, our leader Darren continued to regale us with his badly structured jokes. We also discovered that my porn star name is Dusty Springfield. Then. I played card games, using no skills whatsoever. I was the dealer, but it took me about 4 rounds to realise this. I seemed to win a lot though.

Yet again, we had no chairs, so we sat crosse legged and lolled for a bit. My eyes were sleepy again though, and the doctor gave me a little advice, yet the others just monikered me moth boy. It’s all because I bought £10 sunglasses in Mountain Warehouse, mind you I did buy two pairs, as they were such good value. So, for reasons of not being able to open my eyes, I had to go to bed. Tomorrow, I will borrow some UV protected ski goggled from Kristina, and wear a peaked cap.

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