Today I woke up and I could see.


sunrise or sunset, i can never remember


My eyes felt eased, which was absolutely super news. I tried, and failed, to have a poo. Today’s breakfast was pancakes, with cheese and honey, my own invention (Laughing Cow cheese). I had 4 (5 if you include last nights illegal one), and some watery oats.

We set off for the day. I wore my glasses, and ski goggles, and baseball cap, and Shamla. I think I have adequate sun protection.

Today was the same terrain, although it was a bastard, fields of dinky little shoes that my Costa Rica-soaked boots found difficult to manage. It seems the boots had produced holes to let in sand, as well as becoming quite mangled up. Not great.

successful gaiters


Vegetation of interest was decreasing today, although there were plenty of nice flowering cabbages. The was very little shade too, until lunchtime, where we sheltered under a lush tree. The background was idyllic, almost as if we were being filmed on a green screen. Two hours for lunch again, if only we could cope with a little bit of sunbathing. Nobody is brown yet.


vegetation of interest


I spent most of lunchtime trying to get the Scottish ladies to say macaroon. At first they were slightly perplexed, but later enjoyed it. I was farting a lot, and it was a fragrance of onions. I actually farted in Darren’s face, as he dressed my foot wound.

The afternoon walking went surprisingly quickly, although we sometimes saw vehicles, that hadn’t been mentioned in the brochure. We preferred to be remote and at risk.

At the camp, we all had a lot of fun when i released the Heat magazine into the crowd. We also visited the shop (mat on the floor), where we asked if they had Magnums. But they only had polished fossils. I’ll hang on and wipe down my own with a J-cloth.

Then, the world stopped, as a shower was revealed to the camp. I changed immediately into my small swimwear, which alarmed this shopkeepers.

Later in the evening, Fiona continued to do her laying down photography, I won countless times at Gin rummy, and Kristina wrote her name using a pen between her own toes. Andy also used his Angus joke, showed us his eyelids, and Darren told Dad jokes, and we all hoped he wouldn’t dance.

It’s day 5 and I’ve only just discovered the chili sauce, which doesn’t half jazz up couscous, I also promised to pay young Michael £10 to take the blame for my farts. However, I can look into the light and am no longer moth man. What’s also amusing is how we all sleep in the same spot in the tent each night, such creatures of habit. I am on the right by the door.

I almost slept outside tonight, but the terrain was like a gravel car park, so I decided against it.

Remember you can see all pictures HERE!


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